St Muckymuck, Episode 12: After the Auditions

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS:

IRRELIGIOUS, IRREVERENT, AND IRRELEVANT.

THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.  ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.  

IN FACT, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANYTHING AT ALL WILL BE REMARKABLY COINCIDENTAL.

KBC Rehearsal Auditorium

5:30 pm

"Everyone be seated, please," said Jo.  The participants returned to their seats out of breath but thoroughly exhilarated.  "We want to make an announcement."

Two stagehands were taking Elsie offstage in her glass case.  Her owner hobbled out to the front row of seats in the house.

"There will be no need for the call back auditions this evening.  We are pleased to announce the winners of this afternoon's competition.  They are in no particular order:  Elsie the tarantula, Derek McClintock, Big Fannie White, Bill Burt Flanagan, Sr Edwina Elmore with St. Heehaw, The Fantastic Four Ferrets, Dwight de la Lune and his whatchamacallit..."

"Bass rebec!" yelled Dwight from somewhere in the house.

"Yeah, that!" she responded point toward Dwight without looking up from her clipboard.  "Maggie MacAw, Ronald Rotter, Sarah Pearson, and Nettie the Knitting Kitten.  The theme for this week's show will be revealed on the information sheets that you will receive on your way out.  Your coaching session will be given to you on the sheet as well as your coach.  These times are non negotiable as we have many contestants and must fit everyone in.  Please report to the studio tomorrow afternoon at 2:00 pm for makeup and to be ready for an 8:00 pm go time.  Who does not understand what I just said?"

"We understand, Jo," said the crowd, accompanied by a meow from Nettie.  Some people said, "Awwww."

The crowd disbursed full of excitement and talking about the day's events.  Not a single one of them, person or animal, noticed a disgruntled Myra Dick with her chihuahua skulking across the stage, glancing over her shoulder periodically.  She was muttering something, looking distinctly evil.

©2010 Steven Gorman.  All rights reserved.