From Stidham-Chaunter's Lives of the Kilcathclydian Saints published in 1861

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS:

IRRELIGIOUS, IRREVERENT, AND IRRELEVANT.

THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.  ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.  

IN FACT, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANYTHING AT ALL WILL BE REMARKABLY COINCIDENTAL.

St Bunniculatrix or St Heighhaugh



St Heighhaugh, now spelled Heehaw, is the patron saint of rabbits and hares and also of afflictions of the tearducts.  Her exact birthdate is not known but it is believed to be sometime in 535.  She is the mother of St. Hawmaw.

Heehaw was married to Craigh the Stubborn on the western banks of Goldillochs Major probably in 550 at the age of fifteen.  Within ten years, the couple had an impressive eighteen children including two sets of twins and three sets of triplets.  Craigh died of exhaustion in 560 and within a month Heehaw married her second husband, Filomeighl the Filanderer.

This brought twenty years of peace to the Northern Highlands as the feared Filandereri tribe was united with their longtime enemy the Weighsal tribe.  Heehaw and Filomeighl had an impressive nineteen children including three sets of twins and three sets of triplets.  Filomeighl died of a hernia in 570 and Heehaw married a blacksmith, Farquhar the Fire-eater.  The couple had one son, Heehaw, that same year.

When the community of Deuighdale was raided by pirates in 585 all 38 of Heehaw's children were taken from her and sold into slavery.  We hear nothing more about her until 603 when her youngest son was martyred by the Filandereri trible.  Upon hearing of her son's death, Heehaw grieved so deeply that she wept tears of green that solidified.  Consumed by grief, Heehaw ripped her dress and hurled herself into Goldillochs Minor on 4 November, 603.  Two years later to the day of her son's death, 31 October, her perfectly preserved body washed onto the northeastern shore of Goldillochs Major.

More profoundly, beside her body was a large rabbit holding Heehaw's solidified green tears appearing to comfort Hawmaw's now dead mother.  The rabbit was named after the saint's Latin name, Bunniculatrix, and given the nickname Trixie after the descendants of the Filandereri tribe's nickname for Heehaw.  When Trixie the rabbit died a hundred years later, legend has it that it was perfectly preserved and is included in the carefully guarded case of relics along with the Heehaw's green tears and Hawmaw's green toenails in St. Mochaoi Church.

Stories of miracles occuring at the shrine have been reported for centuries including the thirteenth century with Queen Morag the Moaner of the Weighsal tribe.  The widowed queen had been barren for many, many years and miraculously became pregnant with twins at the age of 62; Saragh the Simple who was able to recite the entire book of Psalms backwards after visiting the shrine in 1307; and in 1694 Rob Roy's wife prayed to St. Heehaw at the holy shrine and was blessed with triplets nine months later.

Heehaw was beatified in 605 and canoninzed in 703 when the rabbit that had held her tears died.

©2010 Steven Gorman.  All rights reserved.