“Ok, boys, let’s go over what’s going to happen at this big mass on Sunday.”
Bishop Marco Black of the Diocese of Teithmen and his assistant, Fr William S. Rirey, sat in front of a handsome oak desk. Behind it was the current Archbishop of Kilcathclyde, Steffano di Tartuffo, who was sitting in a high-backed, black leather recliner. He was smoking a cigar and had a stack of papers in one hand.
“Is Bisquick going to concelebrate?” asked Bishop Black.
“No,” growled Tartuffo, looking over the papers. “He’s refereeing the Old Firmament game Sunday afternoon. He won’t even be at mass.”
Bishop Black grinned wickedly, “Good. That solves that mystery. Or does it?” There was a pause and then he laughed, maniacally.
ST MUCKYMUCK
Season 2
WRITTEN BY STEVEN GORMAN
WHAT YOU ARE READING IS:
IRRELIGIOUS, IRREVERENT, AND IRRELEVANT.
THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
“Who’s in charge of the prayer service on Friday?” asked Rirey.
“Gabriel and Erick,” said Tartuffo, rifling through the papers stapled together in one corner.
“And Mys Tery is the Parade Queen on Saturday before the festival?” asked Rirey, who was taking notes.
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” murmured Black, through gritted teeth.
“What, Marco?” said Tartuffo, who continued to shuffle through the papers, his cigar with a great long ash dangling from it.
“Nothing,” Black sang. “Nothing at all. Just taking notes. Yes, yes to Mys Tery.” He looked away, as his countenance darkened.
“And the mayor will be at the parade with Mys Tery, as her escort,” said Tartuffo. “I’ll be sure to wear my Kevlar chasuble that day. Write that down, Rirey.”
“Kevlar chasuble...got it!” he replied, scribbling.
“And it appears there’s an exclusive party after the festival on Saturday night. Nettie the Knitting Kitten will be performing along with Elsie the Tarantula and Big Fannie White at Kilcathclydeceltcroftcastle.”
“Oh, great!” said Rirey. “I knew about Elsie but not the others.”
“That Big Fannie’s white hot as far as I’m concerned,” said Tartuffo, puffing on his cigar.
Black sat up a tad bit straighter. “Oh yeah?” he asked trying to sound authentic. “You…you think so?” Nervously, he pulled up black socks on very hair legs in front of the desk out of Tartuffo’s line of sight.
“Yeah,” affirmed Tartuffo. “I’d like to see what SHE can do with a cigar?” He laughed, masculinely, while Bishop Black shifted in his seat and wilted slightly.
(c)2012 Steven Gorman. All rights reserved.
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