SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS:

IRRELIGIOUS, IRREVERENT, AND IRRELEVANT.

THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.  ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.  

IN FACT, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANYTHING AT ALL WILL BE REMARKABLY COINCIDENTAL.

KBC News Studio

6:57 pm

"We interrupt this VD and KBC programming to bring you a special announcement," said Chambers Flannary.  "We've got William Rirey, the host of the newest season of Scottish Hometown Intercity Talent Show with us.  Hello, Will?"

The camera cut to Rirey.  "That's right, Chambers.  I'm outside the KBC Grand Auditorium and I've got this week's results from the public who have voted on who should be eliminated from the show!"

"Oh my," said Chambers, leaning over the desk.  "Who have you got there with you?"

"It's all of the contestants, Chambers.  They're braving the intense cold weather and deep snow to be with us for the results.  Shall we get started?"

"Yes, yes, by all means!"

"These are the acts who will be staying and appearing next week on Scottish Hometown Intercity Talent Show.  They are given in the order of how they ranked in the tally by the agency, Scottish Independent Counters Kilcathclyde.  Nettie the Knitting Kitten, Frank and the Fabulous Four Ferrets, Big Fannie White, Billy Burt Flanagan, ventriloquist Sr Edwina Elmore and St Heehaw, you should hear her, Chambers, she can sing in harmony with the puppet, it's absolutely fantastic!"

"I saw her Friday night, Will.  I couldn't believe it!"

"Next is Derek McClintock and his amazing kazoo playing, Sarah Pearson, Dwight de la Lune and his bass rebec, and then Tania McPhee our resident xylophonist!"

"Is that the whole list, Will?" asked Chambers.

"Well, more or less.  Regrettably, I have to announce that spoon piper Ronald Rotter and soprano Maggie MacAw have been eliminated.  That's the name of the game here at the talent show.  The public decides and that's the end of the discussion.  It's absolutely impossible to predict and can sometimes be  very puzzling.  Back to you in the studio, Chambers."

"Yes, that's the name of the game.  I can't believe that Ronald Rotter was eliminated.  I thought he was amazing!" said Chambers.

"He was.  He was, indeed.  So, that's all from here."

"Thank you, Will.  We will look forward to more from you very soon," said Chambers.  The image of Will and the contestants standing in the freezing cold air disappeared and Chambers addressed the camera directly.  "Well, there you have it, folks.  Ronald Rotter and Maggie MacAw have been eliminated from the competition.  Who could have predicted that?"  There was a pause.  "We should also warn you that the fierce winter weather we've been experiencing will deteriorate even further tonight.  We can expect 18 centimeters of snow and temperatures between -18 and -33 Celsius.  We now return you to your regular programming!"

©2010 Steven Gorman.  All rights reserved.