St Muckymuck, Season 2: "Quite A Party, Eh?"

"Thank you so much, Your Grace," said Tartuffo.  "For offering your lovely castle for our party."

He was speaking to Lord Theophilus Stidham-Chaunter, owner of the ancient castle that overlooked the city.  He was in his early seventies, tall, with sparkly blue eyes, bushy eyebrows, and a handlebar moustache that would have made Teddy Roosevelt extremely envious.  "Oh, no problem at all, Your Grace.  I'm sure you will get as much of a rise out of it as I will!" he replied to Tartuffo.

There was a heavily pregnant pause.  And both of them burst out laughing.

"Oh, that was a good one, Your Grace," said Tartuffo.

"Oh, now, Stevie.  Don't call me Your Grace.  Tonight we are just friends playing on a deliciously decadent playground."

A women passed wearing a rose satin dress with a bustle, a matching white and rose umbrella, and sporting a grand hat adorned with burgundy and white feathers.

"Oh, and there she is!" said Lord Stidham-Chaunter.  "Stevie, I have someone for you to meet.  This," he said gesturing toward the elegantly dressed lady.  "...is Madame Dominique de Beaucherie."

Tartuffo took her hand.  "Enchantée, Madame de Beaucherie."

"Mmm," she purred, as she surveyed him.  She was a cross between Barbara Streisand, May West, Deborah Kerr, and Jean Simpson but with a French accent.  "Likewise, I am sure...enchantée..."

When Tartuffo released her hand she handed both gentlemen a pastel pink, scented business card with burgundy French script:

 

Mme D Beaucherie

DBeaucherie@ decadence.fr.tv

"I must compliment you, Your Grace.  The chateau is most generously appointed."

"Why, thank you, my sweetest Dominique.  I hope you find it suitable for your various and sundry attractions." 

She purred, pulled out a jewel encrusted, burgundy lorgnette and surveyed the elder statesman.  "I am quite sure I will."  She sauntered away, the sound of swishing petticoats accompanying her.

"She takes my breath away," said Lord Stidham-Chaunter.  "Absolutely stunning!"

"I can't wait to see the attractions!" said Tartuffo.

"Shall we enter?"

"Aye -- go on then!"

ST MUCKYMUCK

Season 2

WRITTEN BY STEVEN GORMAN

WHAT YOU READ IS:

IRRELIGIOUS, IRREVERENT, AND IRRELEVANT.

THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND EVENTS CONTAINED IN ST MUCKYMUCK ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY AND ALL RESEMBLANCES TO REAL PEOPLE, REAL PLACES, AND/OR REAL EVENTS PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

The two approached a set of heavy, dark stained oak doors.  Lord Stidham-Chaunter grabbed the two lead crystal door knobs and pushed wide the doors.  Tartuffo's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

Directly in front of them was a grand gold fountain spouting not water but champagne.  Atop it on a tall gold plinth was a cherubic boy, at most, five years of age.  He wore a white tunic, had white wings, a laurel wreath in his curly blond hair, and held a bow and arrow.  But the most amazing thing was that he was painted from head to toe in gold.

"Wow!" said Tartuffo, staring in awe at the boy gilt with gold.  "That must've cost a pretty penny."

"Not too bad," said Lord Stidham-Chaunter.  "I arranged it all through the Kilcathclyde Interfaith Licensing and Leasing of Foster Families.  He came at a sweet discount."

"Sweet!" said Tartuffo.  "You must give me the contact information."

"That won't be a problem.  I'll have my personal assistant get in touch with your secretary first thing Monday morning."

"Excellent!" said Tartuffo, clapping his hands.

(c)2012 Steven Gorman.  All rights reserved.